Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
