Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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