So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
false alarm. still invincible.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
