i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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