Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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