he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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