Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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