Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize