He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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