I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
