You made me cry and you don't even care
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
third nipple confirmed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
