I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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