new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
