I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize