Nicole vs. Life
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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