Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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