...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
