I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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