I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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