I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You dont lie about slip and slides
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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