I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are a genius and a whore.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
