she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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