Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
