She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
