everyone is single if you try hard enough
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize