I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
