The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
