loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
