at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize