you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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