i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
