I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
