The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
