Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
