Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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