I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
