You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
