Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
