honey bunches of taint.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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