So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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