i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
