bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize