He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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