i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
