At least make sure they are 18
Why
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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