smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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