I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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