i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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