Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
