But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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