Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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