Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
