I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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