Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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