evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I want is dick and wine.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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