apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
As shirtless as possible
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
