I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
