I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I cockslap morals
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
