I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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