I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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