If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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