I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
