Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
