Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize