At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can I color on your dick again?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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