if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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