Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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