You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
