You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
