i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
